I Survived...

My first Home Owner's Association meeting. Oh. My. Gawd. What a nightmare! Let's just say that I now know the identities of my neighborhood idiot, asshole, sweet (and nosy) old lady, frazzled hausfrau, drama queen, D&D phenom, man cave enthusiasts, and nerd. It quickly became clear that we're paying annual dues for a lot of nothing: neighborhood pool and common area upkeep, grass and sidewalk upkeep, and useless fines. Every time someone brought up a need in the community, we got the same answer: Call your county commissioner. WTF?

A lot of the problems in this subdivision are because the builders were stupid and greedy. Rather than making certain the roads were wide enough, they chose to go with the slimmest road they could possibly scoot past the city's plan inspectors so they could fit more homes and streets in the subdivision. If people park along the curb, it's impossible to drive down the street. No, really. It's horrendous. Secondly, this subdivision was always meant as a family subdivision. Why in the hell didn't the planners ask the county for speed limit, children at play, and school bus stop signs?!?!?!

I also realized that most of the people in our neighborhood have no idea how to properly organize a campaign for improvement. The resident asshole seems to think he knows EVERYTHING because, you know, he was a cop. Oh, puh-leez! Normally I'm more than willing to help with these sorts of things, but the thought of having to spend more than five minutes in that guy's presence made me want to hurl. I think I'll probably just put together a packet of all my old lobbying and grant writing templates and pamphlets and send them along to the first Neighborhood Watch committee. If I could lobby Congress for changes in rural health and school funding--and win--when I was, like, sixteen, then these people should be able to get a few signs from the county.

So that's that. We won't have another meeting until next year. I know. They really care about our opinions. Oh, well. At least I got a pool key...