Happy Fat

I heard that term for the first time a few minutes ago, and it was like, "Ding! Ding! Ding!" I had a real light bulb moment. I am "Happy Fat."

Look. I've always been chubby. Through middle and high school, I fluctuated between a 14 and an 18. When I started college, I wore a loose 18, but because of my dorm diet (caffeine, carbs, and lots of alcohol) I climbed up to 20 by the end of that first semester and hovered near a 22 when I started my sophomore year. Over the past few years I've steadily packed on the pounds, but seem to have leveled off 18-24 months ago at my current size, a 24.

Yeah. I know. It's unhealthy, and with my family's medical history, I should get the weight off, but that's definitely easier said than done. More importantly, I've realized that I have, like, zero motivation to lose weight. I am deliriously happy. No really. I'm passionately in love with Dave. I love my crazy family. I have tons of amazing friends. I'm making strides in my writing career. I'm getting married. I'm moving into a new home. I'm getting a Great Dane in a few months. I have a smoking hot sex life. I mean, seriously, there's no reason for me to start depriving myself. I guess I've finally gotten to the point where I don't beat myself up about my weight. I'm happy. And that's good.

That said....well...I mean, come on. I'm an intelligent young woman who realizes that shaving off some extra pounds would be a really good idea. Plus, I saw Dr. Oz on Oprah yesterday, and he pulled out this fat person's omentum, and OMG! I almost yakked right there in the living room! I was, like, OMG! That's what my omentum looks like? Ew. Ew! EWWWW!

So Dave and I had a long talk about how I'm always doing for everyone else but neglect myself. As in, I spend hours every week planning, calculating, and cooking Dave's meals so he's getting just the right number of carbs, fiber, protein, etc. to keep his diabetes in check, but I don't do that for myself. Hmmm. Curious, no?

Now obviously I'm not going to try to diet right this week or the next. Hello! I'm getting married in one month! And our house is almost finished! And I've got to go home for my bridal shower! And I'm busy writing and crossing my fingers that someone will buy my damn book! Yeah. Way too much stress to start dieting now.

Once we've moved into the house, I'm going to start eating exactly what Dave eats. We're going to work out together and focus on solid nutritional intake. It's not going to be easy or fun, but that's OK. The sooner I get healthy, the sooner I can seriously consider the options for kicking those ovaries into working condition (if that's a possibility) and take that European vacation I've always wanted. And yeah, I realize that a vacay seems like a really weird motivator, but let's face it. At my current size, I would be forced to buy an extra seat to accomodate these chunky Latina hips of mine, and well, that would not only be embarrassing, but uber-expensive.

Anyways. I'm rambling now. The point is I'm "Happy Fat" and okay with that. So back to work....