I'll admit these first eight months of motherhood weren't anywhere near what I'd envisioned when Dave and I finally got pregnant. After a textbook pregnancy, I expected to take home this squishy little bundle and settle into motherhood. As we all know it couldn't have turned out differently.
And yet I wouldn't change a thing. In the last eight months, I have learned so much about love and faith and joy. I've learned to live in the moment. I've learned to see the beauty and wonder in something so simple as Nyx's smile or laugh. I know how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to have made it through those hellish days of uncertainty.
Becoming a mother has changed my relationship with my own mother too. We've always had a close and honest relationship but now we're even closer. Knowing I have someone I can bounce ideas off of or seek advice from without fear of feeling silly or being chastised has been so helpful. Mom's support while Nyx was in the hospital for her surgeries was priceless. I don't know that Dave and I would have made it without my mom here to help with the housekeeping and cooking and shopping and doctor's visits.
The fact that I never had to ask, that my mother just knew that I needed her, showed me the depth of my mother's love for me. It taught me that no matter how my life changes she will always be there for me. Someday I hope to be that person, that rock of support, for Nyx. When she's twenty-six or thirty-six or fifty-seven, I want Nyx to know I'm always there for her just like my mommy has always been there for me.
So Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there. To all of you still waiting for that positive pee stick or that successful adoption, I wish you the very best luck this year!