Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Or, um, don't. Dave and I are really struggling with the issue of vaccination. No, we're not those fringe folks who think all vaccines are evil or cause autism. We just have valid concerns about the staggering number of vaccines given to babies in the first twelve months of their lives. I mean, seriously, does a baby really need sixteen to twenty vaccines? I don't plan on allowing Zaphod to splash around in raw sewage, filling her sippy cup with filthy water from the first puddle I stumble across in the Target parking lot, or taking her down to the docks in Houston and rubbing her all over the various folks stepping off of the boats they've stowed away on from lands far and away.

Look, Zaphod is going to be breastfed (at least for the first week, although my goal is twelve months) so she's going to get all of my antibodies from my magic tatas and their fountain of colostrum. If I get the flu vaccine and breastfeed, guess what? Zaphod just got the flu vaccine. So why the hell does she need a Hep B vaccine within hours of being born? I have Hep B immunities from the vaccine. I'd like to think by newborn won't be coming into contact with blood, semen, or body fluids raging with Hep B virus. And rotavirus? She's not going to daycare. She'll be home with me or Dave, like, ninety-eight percent of the time. We're dedicated hand washers so the odds of us giving her the virus are, like, slim to none.

And what's up with the chicken pox vaccine? Since when is chicken pox such a horrid disease kiddos need vaccinations against it? Having the chicken pox is a rite of passage. You stay home, eat ice cream, watch cartoons, take oatmeal baths, and let your mommy slather pink lotion all over your itchy bits. It's like vacation--just with the itchy squirmies.

What happened to letting kids develop immune systems the good old-fashioned way? Dude, when I was a kid, my mom and aunts made sure we all played together when one of us had chicken pox. We all shared the same coughs and colds and bouts of flu. We turned out just fine.

So that's where we are at the moment. We meet with our pediatrician on Friday and plan to discuss our options, namely delaying some of the vaccines. We're sort of interested in the idea of one live virus and one aluminum containing vaccine at a time. Over my dead body will we allow Zaphod to receive four or five or six vaccines in a single visit. That's insanity. How the hell are their tiny little immune systems supposed to react to such a bombardment?

We're gearing up for "The Look" from our family and friends when they find out we're delaying or denying vaccines. I was pleasantly surprised by how supportive my mom and dad were. Mom was stunned to see how many vaccines are required now. My brother reacted badly to every vaccination he ever received so she looks at it from that angle.

We haven't fully researched our options when it comes to enrolling Zaphod in kindergarten. If it comes down to it, I guess we'll look into homeschooling. Then again, with the state of education in Texas, that might not be such a bad thing...

1 comment:

Unknown said...

This is actually Amy, not Lee. I am here to give you the first official "Look" from the family!

I agree with you completely on this vaccination matter and your bit about The Pox being a rite of passage is spot on!