Monday, November 17, 2008


No, not these oh-so-sexy pirates or these asshat pirates. No, these pirates. Or these. Or these. Or, hey, even this one!

E-book piracy is becoming a huge issue. I'd like to climb up on my moral high horse and scold people for downloading pirated e-books, but I was in college only a few short years ago. Yes, a good chunk of my musical collection was gained through LimeWire or Bearshare. Fortunately, karma kicked my butt by wiping out all those files when I switched from my old computer to this laptop. Since then I've acquired all my music legally through iTunes. I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever again download illegal files.

When I was a broke ass coed, I used to think musicians were a bunch of whiners. Now, I'm on the other side of that fence. Yeah. I'm the whiner, lol. In all seriousness, it's really demoralizing to search through these sites and see a novella you worked so hard to write being downloaded 3000 or 4000 times. You peek at your royalty check and choke because the number of books sold is nowhere near that high.

Yes, obviously, I realize those download numbers don't really correlate to sales. People who download free books probably wouldn't pay for books anyway. Still, though, it's annoying to know your work is basically being stolen. I fully accept this as my punishment for being a lame coed who pilfered free music. For other authors, those people who've never downloaded a pirated song or book or movie in their lives, the issue is different. They deserve to have their hard work protected--and so do I, of course, but the Catholic in me says to accept this as my divine punishment for poor moral behavior. So I will...

This is issue is one that will likely never be completely resolved. As a reader, I'm irked by DRM protected files. As an author, I understand the desire of the publisher to protect our shared interest. I'm not tech savvy enough to know if there's some kind of middle ground. For now, I think the best authors can do is educate.

Today's lesson: Pirates are bad. Well. Unless they look like this.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

From the Halls of WTF?!?

So during my 5K jog today I had to jump off the road twice to avoid being mowed down by careless drivers--one of them a K9 cop! Then on my cool down walk some creepy chain-smoking guy in a blue Suburban cruised right up beside me and scared the living shit outta me.

Creepy Dude: Oh! I'm sorry. I thought you were my daughter.
Me: Uh...Okay.
Creepy Dude: Can I give you a ride?
Me, starting to jog again: No, thanks.

This guy drives along side me the whole way back to our subdivision. Then, just as I hop onto the sidewalk, this random black truck comes out of nowhere and skids to a stop in front of the blue Suburban. A total asshat leans out the window and shouts, "Man, fuck you and your daughter!"

At this point, I start sprinting to my front door. Dave came home a few minutes later so I related the story as I took a shower. He was totally confused too.

Dave: I'm surprised he didn't ask if you'd seen his puppy.
Me: Dude.
Dave: It's true. Sounds like a real whack job.
Me: I know. I just kept thinking, "If he grabs me, how do I defend myself? Stab his eye with my keys? Strangle him with my iPOD cord?"
Dave: Er...sure?

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Illicit Bargain

So it's been a busy week in Lolita's writing world. My latest novella, ILLICIT BARGAIN, released in e-book on Friday, and I finally received my box of author's copies for the TANTALIZING TREATS anthology. The cover for the antho is super sexy. Man-titty galore, folks. Right now, TANTALIZING TREATS is only available through EC's storeront. In a few weeks, it'll hit brick and mortar stores (like B&N or your local indie) and online retailers like B&N and Amazon.

As for ILLICIT BARGAIN, well, it's the steamiest novella I've penned so far. I had so much fun creating the characters and building their world. The BDSM research was interesting too. Speaking of which, this book has a "light BDSM" warning for those who prefer their erotic romances a little more vanilla. Obviously, "light" is subjective. I mean, what I consider light and what you consider light might be polar opposites.

So, to avoid a slew of perturbed emails, here's the Great List O' Deviance you can expect in ILLICIT BARGAIN. Blindfolds, rope bondage, hot wax, ice, Wartenburg wheels, clothespins, O denial, hand spanking, birch canes, rulers, ring gags, a spanking horse, sex toys, and a little knife play.

Did someone just fall off a chair? Sorry about that....

If you're intrigued, here's the blurb for IB:

When her fragile teenaged sister is held for ransom by a sociopathic sorcerer, Celia LadrĂ³n, a witch and professional thief, is forced to steal a topaz dagger from Evi Leshnikov, a reclusive shapeshifter and old acquaintance.

Before she can escape with the dagger, Celia is caught by Evi. Incensed, he offers harsh terms — submit to his darkest desires or leave empty-handed. Desperate to save her sister, Celia agrees, unaware the erotic test of wills may break her — body and soul.

In the end, however, it just might be Evi who is humbled.

To read an excerpt or purchase ILLICIT BARGAIN

To read an excerpt or purchase (or drool over man-titty) TANTALIZING TREATS

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


So I had an appointment with Dr. A this morning. I've been freaking the fuck out over it. No, really. I just knew it was going to be bad news. I was so worked up that when they did my vital signs check my pulse was 102 and my BP was 147/69. Yeah. I seriously needed a chill pill. Dave was, like, "Lady! Calm down before you blow a pupil!"

We get into the exam room and, well, it went beautifully. Dr. A and her student, Sally, were so upbeat and enthusiastic. I guess a lot of patients don't actually lose the weight and follow all the rules because Sally seemed a bit surprised when I told her I'd dropped 43 pounds since April, was running regularly, and taking all my meds, vitamins, and supplements as instructed. Dr. A seemed a bit surprised too. Sad, really, that so many people don't just do what they're told.

Anyways. My blood sugar levels are really good. My cholesterol is 131. My bad cholesterol is super low but so is my good cholesterol. Unfortunately the good cholesterol will stay low because I don't make enough estrogen to have normal cholesterol levels.

So we had a nice long chat and mapped out a baby making plan. I was so relieved I almost burst into tears. Since leaving Dr. A's office I've alternated between sobbing and laughing. I'm a mess. But a good mess. I know there's a lot of uncertainty ahead of us but for the first time in a really long time I have an overwhelming sense of hope. And that's a good thing.

Sunday, November 02, 2008


Just a quick weight loss update. I lost 5 pounds in October for a total of 42 so far. Woo-hoo! Just 8 more pounds and I'm halfway to my goal. I think November will be a good month. I have to kick up my training schedule since I'm running that 5K charity race on the 22nd.

Oh, and am I the only person who felt like she'd fallen down the rabbit's hole this morning? We have one of those atomic clocks which automatically updates and adjusts. So when I walked into the kitchen I saw the microwave clock which said 6:07. I glance over at the clock on the windowsill. 5:07. Wha-? I did a double take and started to get this panicky, wtf feeling when, suddenly, I remembered. Aha! Fall Back.

Yes. I'm that goofy.

Saturday, November 01, 2008


So in mid-October I did the unthinkable. I joined NaNoWriMo. What's NaNoWriMo you ask? It's National Novel Writing Month. Oh, yes. The goal of the challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. And I was dumb enough to sign up for it. Who knows if I'll finish. I managed to do extraordinarily well on the Sweating With Sven Challenge. (70 days of 1500 words per day was my goal.) I think I hit, like, 110-120K in 70 days. But I was a mentally and physically exhausted mess by the end of it. Here's hoping I don't plunge off the deep end with this challenge.

Writing starts today. I've stockpiled yummy, healthy snacks. I need to brew up some flavored iced tea and make a run for some Diet Dr. Pepper. Wish me luck!

*Edited to Add* OMG. I just signed up for Sweating with Sven Round 4 which runs from November 10 to January 26. I've pledged to finish my YA Urban fantasy, and erotic romance novella, and an erotica novel by January 26. What the hell is wrong with me?