Procrastination

It's really late or super early depending on how you view time, and I am totally procrastinating. I have maybe half a chapter left to write on my latest novella, but I keep finding all of these really important, super interesting things to do. And why? Because I loathe editing. Seriously. I would rather cage fight Joey, Marcos, and Tricia for the last spoonful of Ama's arroz con pollo than have to edit my rough draft into a presentable final draft which then morphs into a string of back and forth revisions with the Editor.

Oh, and just for shits and giggles, if the four of us were ever to engage in such a cage match, I would tell everyone to place their bets on Tricia. Don't be fooled by the princess attitude and pretty face! She's wily and cunning and has the stamina of a Force Recon Marine. I'm telling you, the girl is fierce like a tiger! Rarr! I wouldn't be surprised if some day she's gracing the cover of Soldier of Fortune. I can see it now. She's wearing a crisply tailored black Dior suit, red Laboutin slingbacks, and is dripping Harry Winston diamonds. She'll have a .338 Lapua slung over her left shoulder, a cell phone pressed to her left ear, and her favorite Balenciaga bag dangling from her right arm--with a Fairbairn-Sykes hiding inside, of course.

Anywho. So I have this huge list o' topics for blogging, but none of them are meaty enough for a full post. Here's the list.

1) I am beginning to suspect that Bosley has deep seated issues that may or may not stem from the removal of his, uh, chestnuts. Firstly, he has a crazy foot fetish. No, really. Ask Sara or any of the other visitors we've had. If you're barefoot in this house, prepare to be suckled by a Great Dane. And yes. It is exactly as disturbing as it sounds. Secondly, he's sort of masochistic. He chews on his paw and makes these really, really inappropriate sounds. It's almost reached the point of bizarreness that I'm thinking about tracking down one of those dog whispering quacks.

2) My favorite blog, Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Books, runs this weekly video post, and this week's video is HILARIOUS! It's called Love Story and is a short animated take on the dating scene for modern ladies. Give it a peek. You'll appreciate the humor. Also, the blog itself is worth browsing. The critique of romance novel covers is my particular favorite!

3) Can I just tell you how funny HOT FUZZ is? OK. Sure. It's humor isn't on par with SHAUN OF THE DEAD, but sometimes I like to watch a comedy where you have to think to get some of the jokes. If you've watched a fair share of action and/or cop movies of the "Buddy Cop" genre, then you'll get the subtle spoofiness. And, yeah, the violence is gratuitous, but it's not, you know, gross or disturbing. It's usually rather funny. I particularly enjoyed David Bradley's (plays Argus Filch in the HP flicks) mumbling scene, and of course, the two-footed flying side kick into creepy grandma's nose...

4) Speaking of films! I watched this amazing foreign film the other morning. I can't stop gushing about it! It's called Open Hearts (Elsker dig for evigt) and has such a gripping storyline. A young couple, Cecille and Joachim, have just gotten engaged and are planning their marriage when Joachim is paralyzed by a car collision. The woman, Marie, who caused the accident can't handle what she's done so she instructs her husband, Niels a surgeon, to make amends. He does the only thing he knows how to do: he listens to Cecille. And that's when it gets complicated. The motivations of a middle aged man, beautiful and confused young girl, oblivious wife, angst-ridden teen daughter, and a self-hating quadriplegic all conspire to form a heartbreakingly honest portrait of reality.

The acting and cinematography aren't polished so when you're watching you feel like you're actually watching this story unfold between the characters. The English subtitles are fantastic and easily read, but if you're comfortable with German, you should be able to understand the Danish dialogue without having to glance at the subtitles too often. For maybe the first ten minutes, I was tied to the subtitles, but once I figured out the Danish intonation and pronunciation, I was OK.

It's a beautiful example of why sometimes tiny foreign films are a thousand times better than Hollywood blockbusters. In the end it boils down to Hollywood predictability versus inspired film making. Oh, and in true Hollywood fashion, it appears that Zach Braff has signed on to do a remake of this film. Cripes! When are we going to learn that not EVERY foreign film needs to be remade? Seriously, would it kill us to watch a subtitled film? People in other countries do it all the time. Or, you know, we could broaden our horizons and learn a few languages. I'm telling you, after the first two languages, it's much easier to continue adding new ones.

5) Two words: Fan Fiction. Yes, sigh, I must confess. I heart FanFic! When I'm in a slump, it's one of the ways I recapture the Inspirado. Either, I write a short piece or I read some of the better stuff. If you're every bored, give it a try. You might find something that piques your interest!

OK. I think I've goofed off enough. Sun will be up soon, and I've got a self-imposed deadline looming. Must get cracking!