Zombies!

So most people probably don't know this but I have a bizarre fascination with zombies and zombie defense preparations. Seriously. I know it's whacked and paranoid but I often stare up at the ceiling late at night and work out different scenarios. I'm not sure where this paranoia comes from but I have some theories. Namely, the petrifying La Llorona, cucuy and chamuco tales Ama used to tell us before putting us down for bed at night in the old ranchouse. In the cucuy room!*

I've learned to run long distance so if they're slow zombies I've got their asses whipped. If they're fast zombies ala 28 Days Later, then my home is my fortress. I've already scoped out our attic and configured the area for maximum efficiency of shotgun ammunition, baseball bat collection, shelves of machetes** and sharpening stones. I'm seriously considering building a radio and becoming a HAM operator. Ooh, and Morse code too. Gotta be able to map out those zombie movement reports. Our pantry is always fully stocked with at least 4 weeks of provisions. No, not because Homeland Security and FEMA suggest it but because I've read The Zombie Survival Guide. Ain't no living dead gonna gnaw on my neck.

All that said, you'll understand why this story made me laugh my ass off. Someone hacked into those flashing road signs along an Austin highway and changed the message to one that read: RUN! ZOMBIES AHEAD!

Watch the hilarity here.


*See George Lopez: America's Mexican here (Part 4/7 0-1:20) or here (Part 5/7 2:00-2:30).
**Machetes are widely accepted as the best weapon for zombie defense. Why? You don't have to reload a machete.