Opossum? Oh, Crap.

So I was working way late last night and Bos decided to keep me company. A little after 3 this morning, he decided he needed to use the facilities. I let him outside and flicked on the porch light. A cold front had blown through so I stood behind the door, shielding myself from the cold. It was one of those dark, creepy, howling wind types of nights. I didn't like it.

Suddenly something skittered across the back of the lawn. Bosley pinched it off and made chase, barking so loud and wildly lights in all the neighboring houses began to flick on. I walked out onto the patio and called him back into the house. He was losing his effing mind. He barked viciously and growled at whatever the hell he'd cornered in the far right side of the yard.

With no other choice, I had to scurry (barefoot and half-dressed in my jammies) out into the darkness. As I got closer to Bosley, he became more aggressive toward whatever critter he'd cornered. I guess his protective instinct kicked in as I approached. I tried to coax him back inside but he just wouldn't listen. I tugged on his tail. He clawed the ground and refused to budge. I couldn't see the mysterious creature because of the darkness and shadows but I knew that if I didn't do something quick Bosley was probably going to get bitten or scratched.

Like a complete idiot, I stepped up between Bosley and the creature. Suddenly, I was face to face with a furious opossum, its claws bared, teeth gnashing, mouth smacking, and tail curled defensively. Visions of enduring weeks of rabies shot flashed through my mind. It reared up and hissed at me. Bosley leapt forward and viciously, violently snapped and snarled at the little beastie.

Me? I ran like a little girl. Seriously. I squealed and jumped and high-tailed it back to the house. As I made the mad dash to the door, I spotted Klaus, Bosley's squeaky fish, and snatched it from the ground. Running like crazy, I rapidly squeezed Klaus and Bosley, thinking this was some kind of new game, chased me back into the kitchen. I slammed the door shut and nearly collapsed with a mixture of fear and relief. Bosley grabbed Klaus from my hand and trotted into the living room, still grumbling with annoyance at the interloper marsupial.

And Dave? Yeah. He totally slept through this spectacle of spectacles. He didn't even stir. In fact, when he came down to head out for work two hours later, he was shocked and highly amused. That man....

So now I have to worry about nocturnal beasties terrorizing the dog during his nightly visits to the john. Oh, joy! And I'm seriously wondering how my vegetable garden will fare next year. I foresee scads of nibbled upon veggies and irritation out the wazoo. Such are the joys of living up against the woodsen...