Call It, Friendo

So Dave and I finally got around to seeing No Country For Old Men. I read the book when it came out, and like most McCarthy books, I wasn't so impressed. Yes, I can appreciate Cormac's novels as amazing examples of Southern Gothic/Western tales but they're just not books I'll pick up and read again and again and again, you know?

Anywho. I thought the Coen Brothers' adaptation was fantastic. They captured the bleakness of the novel through the cinematography, and, of course, the use of dialogue-empty stretches during the tense scenes of violence heightened the suspense. (I'm specifically thinking of the motel scene where Llewellyn is trying to grab the hidden case and Anton is walking, sock-footed, toting his cattlegun and silenced shotgun. Another example would be Llewellyn sitting on the bed in a darkened hotel room while Anton stands outside and unscrews the light bulb.) Watching those scenes made my whole body go rigid. I curled up my legs, my fingers tightened, my breath caught in my throat... Very, very, very well done.

Movies aside, I'm still running and losing weight. I'm up to 1.5 miles/day now. I hope to reach 2-2.25 by the end of September. My knees and ankles are starting to protest the runs but I just tell them to eff off. With each run the discomfort is significantly less so I'm fairly certain my bones/joints/muscles/tendons are just trying to catch up to the increased pace.

It seems my weight loss is causing some problems with my PCOS. Instead of my symptoms improving, they're actually worsening in some cases. Oh, joy! But I know as soon as my weight levels out so will my hormone levels. Hopefully my symptoms will decrease or disappear. Regardless, I can't stop now. I'm too far into this weight loss game to quit.

It also looks like my meds may not be working as well--or rather too well. See I augment my super low female hormones (POFishness), and it's worked great. But no longer. My meds are too strong and/or are being absorbed differenlty due to my revamped metabolism. And I'm growing more ovarian cysts.

How do I know this? Well, and this is really upsetting, I'm having pregnancy symptoms. Yeah. I know. What a mind fuck, huh? I've got the nausea and the swollen, sore breasts and all that other crap....but no little bean. My body interprets the cysts as, well, a pregnancy. Which sucks. A lot. Like I'm crying right now. I don't know. It's just depressing as hell.

So anyways. Barring any cyst emergency, I'm going to just have to tough it out until I see Dr. A in early November. Yeah. I know. But I just keep thinking this has to get better, right? I mean, I'm doing everything I possibly can to get healthy. I'm taking all the meds I can. I'm a voracious researcher on PCOS and POF. I'm looking at alternative treatments.

And yet I know from family members who have suffered through this shit disease and friends in my support group who have fought against it that it's not always that simple.

So I keep trying and hoping. What else can I do, right? Gah, I feel like Gatsby....

"So we beat on, boats against the current..."