From the Halls of WTF?!?

So during my 5K jog today I had to jump off the road twice to avoid being mowed down by careless drivers--one of them a K9 cop! Then on my cool down walk some creepy chain-smoking guy in a blue Suburban cruised right up beside me and scared the living shit outta me.

Creepy Dude: Oh! I'm sorry. I thought you were my daughter.
Me: Uh...Okay.
Creepy Dude: Can I give you a ride?
Me, starting to jog again: No, thanks.

This guy drives along side me the whole way back to our subdivision. Then, just as I hop onto the sidewalk, this random black truck comes out of nowhere and skids to a stop in front of the blue Suburban. A total asshat leans out the window and shouts, "Man, fuck you and your daughter!"

At this point, I start sprinting to my front door. Dave came home a few minutes later so I related the story as I took a shower. He was totally confused too.

Dave: I'm surprised he didn't ask if you'd seen his puppy.
Me: Dude.
Dave: It's true. Sounds like a real whack job.
Me: I know. I just kept thinking, "If he grabs me, how do I defend myself? Stab his eye with my keys? Strangle him with my iPOD cord?"
Dave: Er...sure?