Diabeetus

Yeah. Yeah. I know that's not the way you say it but I really love Wilford Brimley's pronunciation of diabetes. He makes it sound so folksy and innocuous.

Those of us with family members or friends enduring the disease know better than that. I've watched my grandparents, father and now husband deal with diabetes and search for the balance between disease and life. It's not easy but it can be done.

Dave recently moved to insulin as part of his daily regimen. He'd done the diet, weight loss (one hundred pounds or so) and exercise thing with a little Metformin for years and it worked okay. Lately though his blood sugar levels just wouldn't get in line. A lot of that was likely stress and living out of hospital food courts. Some of it is just a progression of the disease.

We were both concerned about the effects insulin would have but we've been pleasantly surprised. Dave's blood sugar levels are better than they've ever been. He has much tighter control and doesn't experience the wide swings between low dips and outrageous highs. I have to say it's kind of a relief to know he's got this thing under control finally.

You see my father is now on the opposite end of the spectrum. His diabetes wasn't well controlled for years. Now he suffers near constant foot pain and has endured multiple cath procedures to place stents in his arteries. All those years of excess sugar spilling into his blood stream and tearing up his blood vessels and organs have finally taken their toll.

And it scares the ever-livin' shit out of me . I watched my grandfather lose both legs and die from diabetes complications too young. The thought of my father suffering the same fate paralyzes me with fear. I can't tell you how much I've cried over the last year. Having a sick baby and a sick dad was almost too much for me. I worry constantly about my dad's ability to continue working and maintaining insurance coverage. I worry about the high stress of his current job and the kind of damage it's doing to his body.

On the flip side, I'm lucky to know a bright, brilliant and totally happenin' young woman who has lived with Type 1 Diabetes for, like, decades. She uses an insulin pump and as far as I can tell has never allowed her disease prevent her from following her bliss.

So hop on over here and read a couple of posts on the life of a diabetic penned by Lauren Nygard, architect and photographer extraordinaire. You just might learn something interesting!

Happy Mother's Day

I'll admit these first eight months of motherhood weren't anywhere near what I'd envisioned when Dave and I finally got pregnant. After a textbook pregnancy, I expected to take home this squishy little bundle and settle into motherhood. As we all know it couldn't have turned out differently.

And yet I wouldn't change a thing. In the last eight months, I have learned so much about love and faith and joy. I've learned to live in the moment. I've learned to see the beauty and wonder in something so simple as Nyx's smile or laugh. I know how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to have made it through those hellish days of uncertainty.

Becoming a mother has changed my relationship with my own mother too. We've always had a close and honest relationship but now we're even closer. Knowing I have someone I can bounce ideas off of or seek advice from without fear of feeling silly or being chastised has been so helpful. Mom's support while Nyx was in the hospital for her surgeries was priceless. I don't know that Dave and I would have made it without my mom here to help with the housekeeping and cooking and shopping and doctor's visits.

The fact that I never had to ask, that my mother just knew that I needed her, showed me the depth of my mother's love for me. It taught me that no matter how my life changes she will always be there for me. Someday I hope to be that person, that rock of support, for Nyx. When she's twenty-six or thirty-six or fifty-seven, I want Nyx to know I'm always there for her just like my mommy has always been there for me.

So Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there. To all of you still waiting for that positive pee stick or that successful adoption, I wish you the very best luck this year!

Cinco de Mayo!

Happy Cinco de Mayo! No margaritas or other tequila tastiness around here unfortunately. I'm still breastfeeding so alcohol is off-limits. We're doing some fajitas on the grill though. Not sure Nyx is ready for something that spicy yet so she'll probably have some rice and maybe a pinto bean or two.

Anywho. Enjoy your day! Be safe if you're drinking! A designated driver is a good thing.