Bosley goes through squeaky toys like my brothers and I used to go through boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls. (OMG. The sugar high memories!) Dave and I chose this garish orange goldfish that looks exactly like Klaus from Family Guy. Before we bought Klaus, I gave him a few experimental squeezes. Within the bustling confines of PetSmart, it didn't sound so bad.
Well, guess what? Here in the relatively quiet confines of our house, it sounds like the most unholy wheezing, squeaking, guffawing possessed goldfish this side of Hell. Because of it's shape, Klaus double squeaks, one a normal mid-range dog toy squeak and the other a high-pitched, nails on a chalkboard screech reminiscent of my younger sis' banshee shrieks. (I love Tricia, I really do, but omg, when you get her wound up, her voice escalates into a range not normally accessible by humans. Seriously.)
Normally, I don't mind too much about Bosley's annoying toys. With those Great Dane jaws, he can tear up a toy in no time. Unfortunately, Klaus is one of those next-generation super durable silicone toys. I'm beginning to lose hope. I don't think I'll ever be free of Klaus. I've decided to be proactive. I'm about to activate the Google-fu to locate a set of background silencing earphones.
Oh, and just a quick quote that killed me. I so heart Perez Hilton. This is just too funny not to pass along.
"A lot of people like to fool you and say you're not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That's what I learned from selling crack." ~Snoop in Esquire magazine.
No comments:
Post a Comment